Got RESOLVE?

Last night when I was skyping with one of my wonderful friends Justin he asked me, "how much resolve do you think you have?" Let me just say this first, Justin is in dental school at UCLA, so of course I don't want to make myself look like a fool in front of him. Not having ANY IDEA what "resolve" was, I answered, "I think I have a pretty normal amount". I'm sure he could tell that I was making that up, so he proceeded to tell me exactly what resolve was, and that he'd been working on having more of it. So for all of you fellow, young, freshly graduated freshman year of college kiddies, who might not know what RESOLVE means, let me tell ya.

Resolve is following through with the things you say you'll do. Resolve is making goals and working hard until you accomplish them. Let me give you a couple examples that many of you will be able to relate with: Staying on diets until you actually lose the amount of weight that you wanted to from the beginning. Having a 4.0 your entire college career. Providing service for others. Studying for at least an hour every day. Learning how to cook at least one new meal every couple weeks for your family. Start training for a marathon. Building a shed in the backyard by the end of the summer. Getting into medical school. The list could go on forever..

But talk is cheap, and good intentions are only that- INTENTIONS.

How many times have you set a goal, and as soon as you screw it up, you completely give up on it? Having strong resolve means you push through the failures and get back on your original track. People with strong resolve are easier to trust, are more reliable, and are more successful.

So I really thought about what he told me. Am I person with a weak or strong resolve? I always find myself saying, "k, but no really- THIS time I'm gonna follow through with it". But I should never have to say that. I need to follow through with my goals the first time so I can learn from them, and move onto the next one in the book. I don't want to be working on the same goals throughout my entire life. I want to progress instead of being stuck in the same relative stage.

Besides that, how useless do you feel every time you leave a desire undone. And there's no one to blame besides yourself. And how much do you dread starting over on something that you were, at one point, half-way done with?

So starting today, I am going to start working on my resolve. And that in itself, is a goal. A goal that I want to come out on top of.

D&C 58: 27 "Verily I say men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness".

Yo Summmer,

THIS IS WHATS TRUE:


I was terrified of you. I saw you coming from a hundred miles away and I just sat and waited for you to hit like an angry tornado, ready to tear apart my life. I didn't know how I'd handle you and I didn't really know if I could. But that's the beauty of life eh? You take every thing one day at a time and sometimes, just sometimes, you realize that you love the things that you never knew you'd be able to.

• You forced me to move back in with my parents. Thank you for that. I get to wake up to breakfast every morning with my dad, I get to talk with my mom in bed every night for at least an hour, I get the pleasure of free laundry, I get the scenic view of Heber from my balcony, I get to play Halo with Devin more than I ever want to, and I get to take baths in DECENT sized bathtubs.

• I am on the road more than anywhere else. Me and my car have become great friends. I take care of her and she takes care of me. I've also fallen in love even more with John Mayer due to the amount of time he spends serenading me. August 31st couldn't come any sooner.

• I figured out that I've taken so many things for granted the past 19 years of my life. Things have changed, and my heart is one of them.

• I've met more people from Bountiful region than I think I've ever met in Heber my whole life. Okay, not really.. but seriously-so many. A few key people to name: Nicole Booth. Chris Jepsen.

• They walk you to your car. They open your door. They make sure you get home safe. They surprise visit you. They appreciate homemade cookies.They think you ARE what you're worth. They are genuine guys. They are rare and hard to find, but you helped me remember that they're out there.

• Due to the amount of time I spend alone, I am allowed quite a bit of time to ponder. It's my new middle name, Lauren PondeRuth Brown. New conclusions and goals have recently inhabited my mind. One being that I want to go on a mission. Two being that I want to go to medical school after I get my X-ray degree. Profession: still contemplating.

• I love studying. Yes, sometimes I complain. But don't let that fool you.

• I miss my friends. We're all figuring out our lives, taking different routes to get to our goals, and it the madness of it all, I barely see them. Thank goodness for vid chat, texting, facebook, and 2 hour phone calls. I love technology. I do.

• I have an income? Those words are still exciting to my little ears! It's been a whole year since I've worked. But my job now= funnest, most entertaining, beneficial job I've ever had. Things I've learned how to do: Give shots, put in an IV, draw blood, throat swabs, pelvic exams (k....not the best part of my job), blood labs, suture removal, and x-rays.

• Your sun isn't doing its job, but its alright. Because last time it did- I GOT FRIED. And I love the rain.

• Group dates are genius. Not only for the purposes of getting to know the guy, but new GIRLS! I'm soooo fetchin excited to go back up to USU and put these new friendships into motion.

All-in-all, summer: You have been an amazing growing experience, and very satisfying. Youre kinda like a piece of steak, ya know? Kinda rough, hard to get through at times, but SO worth every bit of energy I've spent on you.

And I'm sure that you have nothing but goodness left to offer to me. So I'll be here. Just waiting for your next revelation. Do your worst.

I wont.

I have this... sickness. That rolls around about every 6 months in my life. And naturally, it always decides to come around at the most inconvenient times.

Things got really tough today so my mom took me in for another treatment. As I lay in the hospital bed, I couldn't help but feel grateful. I have parents who take such good care of their children, no matter what the cost. I have friends who jump at the opportunity to help. I have a God who comforts me through trying times. I have a knowledge of things that I wouldn't trade for anything. I literally have everything I need.
And all of those things are gifts. They weren't earned, they were given.

Life is so precious. I can't stand the thought of wasting one minute of it being sad, ungrateful, upset, jealous, bitter, or regretful.

Because that is nothing but baggage, folks. And the adversary loooves to weigh us down like pack mules.


So.. I don't think I will. Actually, scratch that. I WONT.

....come out of the question and BE.

I have a recent obsession with this song. Mostly because I've had a recent obsession with the meaning of these lyrics.

p.s. youre gonna have to stop my music at the bottom of the page to listen to it.